The Birthday Present Part II

The sound of chirping of birds woke her up. She squinted her eyes as she stared across the window. Dawn had broken. Isha had been sleeping in a rigid plastic chair. She flexed her back as she recovered her senses. The nauseating smell of Iodoform filled her nostrils. She was in the hospital. Her eyes adjusted themselves to the brightness of the room. The whole room screamed of white colour. The wall finish, the bed sheets, the pillow covers and even the frame of the bed, were all blazing white.

Her eyes danced around the room for a second and then fell on the woman lying on the bed in front of her. Isha got up from the chair and strived towards her unconscious mother.

It had happened yesterday. The heart attack. Isha had been reading in her bedroom. She was ecstatic about her 21st birthday. As per custom, she sped through the pages of The old man and the sea, the book she always read the day before her birthday. She had been midway through, when the sound of breaking of glass stole her attention. At once, she put her book down and descended down the stairs. She darted towards the kitchen and found her mother lying on the floor. Shards of broken glass surrounded her. Isha carefully made her way towards her mother and shook her convoluted body vigorously. Her mother won't wake up.

Fear engulfed Isha. She reached for her mother's wrist to check for her pulse, but she stopped midway. She felt a strange hollowness in her stomach. She felt the fear of losing her mother. She took a deep breath and placed her thumb on her mother's wrist. She felt something. 

Isha let out a sigh of relief and ran to the neighbours for help.

She looked at her mother's poignant face. Even though she was sleeping, she looked worn out. Grey streaks blemished her dark flowing hair. She looked old for her age, for she had worked twice as hard as a parent. Isha kept staring at her mother's face. The fear of losing her, had invoked a feeling that she had been suppressing for a long time. She couldn't imagine living in a world without her mother. Regrets piled up inside her. She had taken her mother for granted. Even though they didn't talk much, but her mere presence had comforted Isha. She was the Sun to Isha's Earth.

She sat by her side and gently touched her fingers. She looked at her face expectantly for a hint of reaction, but she was disappointed. She withdrew her hand as she saw the nurse entering the room.

The nurse nonchalantly took her mother's arm and gave her an injection.

"She'll be alright," said the  nurse.

Isha nodded and gave her a faint smile.

"You should go home and rest properly for a while. Hospital chairs are not adequate for sleeping." She smiled at Isha. "Who knows, maybe by the time you get back, you'll find your mother waiting for you."

Isha could only manage a smile. The nurse, sensing her emotions, left her alone with her mother.

"She's going to be okay. She'll be awake soon." Isha comforted herself. She decided to heed the nurse's advice. She would go back home and have a nice bath. She would also get some of her books for her mother. She got up and glanced at her digital watch. It was 8:30 a.m. As she picked up her keys, her eyes fell on the calendar hanging on the opposite wall. She had nearly forgotten. It was 17th of July. It was her birthday. As she neared the door, she was overpowered by a fear stemming inside her. She stole a quick glance at her mother and entertained the possibility that there might not be a birthday present waiting for her this year.

As soon as she reached home, she cleaned the broken pieces of glass from the kitchen floor. Afterwards, she went straight to the bathroom and had a bath. She contemplated about a lot of things, how life had treated her, how she had treated her mother. She shrugged at all these thoughts. It was 10: 30 now. Since her tenth birthday, she had always been so sure that around ten in the morning, there'll be a gift waiting for her on the other side of her apartment door, from her father.

But this year, she did not feel so confident. She felt as if her father had been pulled away from her. She felt restless. She had to check. As she walked towards the door, she felt a harrowing sluggishness in her steps. She did not want to know what waited, or rather did not wait for her on the other side of the door. Her breathing quickened as she approached the door. She held her hand firmly on its knob and opened it with a jerk. Nothing was waiting for her on the other side.

She slammed the door shut. She felt weak and abandoned. Her head felt light and dizzy. Even breathing felt like a laborious task. She gasped for oxygen. Summoning all of her strength, she managed to sprawl across the couch. Her sporadic breathing regulated and she felt at ease.

Deep down, she always considered it a possibility, but had always turned it down as an impulsive thought. She had to validate it to her herself before reaching any conclusions.

Something inside her compelled her to go to her mother's room. She followed that instinct. Upon entering her room, she was greeted by a lavender cologne that her mother always wore. She inhaled it tempestuously. She sat on her bed, holding back the tears. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked exasperated, she looked like her mother. Her gaze shifted from the mirror to a slightly opened drawer near the bed. Impulsively, she opened the drawer. Within a clutter of bangles, she found a neatly rolled red ribbon. Alongside it, was a silver wrapping paper.

She stood there, numb, too dumbstruck to do anything. Her fear had warranted itself. She didn't wail over the loss of her father. She rejoiced over finding her mother again. It would be hard to sew broken hearts, but it had to be done. Her mother would definitely forgive her. But would Isha be able to forgive herself? She had to make atonements. She wanted redemption.

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When Nandini woke up, she was greeted by a silver coloured box. At once, she knew what it meant. Isha was fatherless again. Her secret had been uncovered and her daughter would be devastated. She was reaching for the box when her gaze fell on the envelope. She picked it up and unfolded the letter within.

Mother,

                                All these years, I've been writing letters to father on my birthday. it's about time I wrote one for my mother. I understand why you had to do this. You did this for me. You devalued yourself and redeemed him in my eyes, just because it made me happier. How selfless can you possibly be? I wish you had gotten a better family. A husband who abandoned you and a daughter who disdained you, you deserved better, much better. That man destroyed our lives. I'm glad I don't have him as a father. But I'm not fatherless though, you are my father, you are my world, you are my everything.

I've been a disappointment as a daughter. I know. And I'm ready to make amends. A lifetime of penance would not suffice for what I've put you through. Forgive me mother, for not being there when you were at your most vulnerable, for not sharing my happiness with you, for not being sensible enough to understand you. Forgive me mother, for not being the daughter you deserved.

Isha still loves you.

The letter trembled in Nandini's hands as she read it again for the third time. She wiped the tears from her face. She laid herself down on the bed and closed her eyes. Within a matter of minutes, she was asleep again with a smile adorned across her face and the letter still clutched tightly in her hands. She did not open the box, for she did not care. She did not want any gift. She had just received the greatest gift in the universe: Her daughter. 

   

Isha was staring out of the window when Nandini opened her eyes. As she supported her back with a pillow, she found Isha gazing towards her. Nandini saw a flicker of agony in her daughter's eyes.

"I'm sorry, mother," whispered Isha.

Nandini studied her daughter's demeanour. Her eyes were fighting the tears. Her hands were clenched tightly and were trembling like a leaf. Nandini knew her daughter couldn't cope well with emotions. She placed her hand on top of hers, returning her deep gaze.

"You've got nothing to apologize for."

Isha kept looking at her. She was running out of words to say. She was trying to be calm, trying hard not to give in to emotions. Suddenly she got up to leave. "I'll get you some water."

But Nandini had already noticed a lump in her throat and a slight quiver in her voice. She knew her daughter was at the verge of crying.

Isha managed a smile before leaving. Nandini saw a sparkle in her eyes. Maybe it was the joy erupting inside of her, and her eyes were the only portal through which she could let it out. Maybe they were just tears. Nandini did not know for sure. But she realised something else. Broken hearts can sometimes be mended by just a smile.

All she wanted at that moment was to embrace her little girl and let her know that everything's alright. But she did not. Both the mother and the daughter did not succumb to the tide of emotions. They loved each other, but neither of them said it out loud. Maybe they didn't have to say it. There are a lot of ways of expressing emotions. But sometimes, silence tends to say the most.